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Trained in Collaborative Divorce sm model
Trained in Collaborative Divorce sm model
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SOMEDAY, MAYBE THERE WILL EXIST A WELL-INFORMED, WELL-CONSIDERED, AND YET FERVENT PUBLIC CONVICTION THAT THE MOST DEADLY OF ALL POSSIBLE SINS IS THE MUTILATION OF A CHILD’S SPIRIT. ERIK ERIKSON |
Mediation
is a Process
The mediator will
encourage all parties to discuss and negotiate a settlement based upon his/her
own standard of fairness and his/her own feelings about what is best for
him/her. Mediation is a
confidential process to help people resolve disputes. The mediator is a trained,
impartial and neutral third party. The mediator helps people look at their
common difficulty, recognize and consider their alternatives, reach mutually
acceptable wise solutions, and commit to their agreement in writing. Allow a reasonable time
frame for the mediation process to work. Spend as much time as you would buying
a house or a car. SO!
Why
does mediation work? Mediation saves money and improves relationships and communication Mediation is private and confidential and doesn't involve everyone knowing your situation Mediation is efficient and peaceful Mediation is informal and at your convenience Mediation allows for self-determination -- it is your process The mediator is not a lawyer
and doesn't represent either party. Effective legal representation is required
and it is strongly recommended that each party retain legal counsel of his/her
own choice no later than at the conclusion of the mediation process. Family Mediation Service
recommends retaining legal counsel at the beginning of the mediation process. By
doing this, each party will have a better understanding of their legal rights
and responsibilities and will avoid being surprised by legal issues or concerns
raised by their attorney after assuming that all decisions have been finalized. Mediation can...
Help both parents explain the divorce to the children and answer their questions Help both parents deal with problems the children are having as a result of the divorce Help both parents cooperate during and after the divorce Help both parents understand the emotional needs of their children Help both parents make decisions about living arrangements and how time will be shared with their children Rights
of Children Children have the right to have two parents; and to love each parent without fear of anger or hurt from the other parent\ Children have the right to be free from hearing their parents' personal battles or being used as a spy, messenger or bargaining chip Children have the right not to hear parents criticize, condemn, or complain about the other parent or parent problems
Why do some children do
poorly? Continued warfare and fighting Ongoing court hearings and litigation The children are in fear of abandonment ("if one parent left me, the other one will") Some children assume the responsibility to keep the peace and in the process lose their childhood Parents wanting the children's approval fail to set limits with children. Children need limits and boundaries to help them feel secure. However, the limit setting process after divorce is different.
CHILD
SUPPORT, PROPERTY AND DEBT Who
and how your child is cared for are two of the most important decisions you will
make for the rest of your lives. Is your child going to
do well 3-20 years from now??? What you do now predicts
this. Try
in every way you can to not discuss the
child support, property and debt issues until the child issues are established.
It is damaging to establish a child support agreement based on how much
child support you will be required to pay. Your child is precious beyond price.
Do not equate a price to your child. It is damaging. How your child is cared for is in no way related to child support, debt or property issues. Where your child will flourish........and be most stable and consistent
............should be the
determining factor in making decisions concerning your time with your child. Click here to go to library site for child support information Utilize
our FREE Co-parenting and Relationship
Groups Parent Support Groups, Relationship Groups, Co-Parenting Groups
and Mediation Orientation These are educational meetings that detail healthy co-parenting
and relationship INFORMATION. In addition, individual meetings are available
that provide healthy parenting and relationship information.
FREE GROUPS Tuesday group is at 5 pm in Taos with David Stewart L.P.M.H.C. Wednesday group is at 5 pm in Taos with David Stewart L.P.M.H.C. At our offices FREE ORIENTATIONS TO MEDIATION ARE HELD DAILY Attend our free
orientation to mediation any day Monday -Friday. Call for more
information. Come watch videos on the effects of divorce on children and
how to mediate success into your children's lives. THE FOLLOWING IS SPECIFIC TO Domestic Violence Click here to go to library site for information
Domestic violence is a
growing epidemic in this country and all of society is beginning to feel its
effects, not just women and children in violent homes. Judges are
beginning to realize that children first seen as victims in domestic violence
cases return to court years later as juvenile offenders and adult criminal
defendants. Law enforcement officials report that the largest number of calls
they respond to are domestic violence cases. American Bar Association Phone: 202/662-1737/1744 www.abanet.org/domviol/cdv.html Dissolution of marriage
is one of the most stressful times in a person’s life. The actions and
reactions of those involved are often extreme. One or both of the parties may be
fearful that the divorce proceeding will cause the other to become angry,
vindictive or harmful. Also, an individual may need protection to prevent a
spouse from concealing, destroying or spending marital assets during the
duration of the divorce action. Temporary restraining orders and preliminary
injunctions are direct orders from the court that are intended to protect a
person from these types of actions. Temporary restraining orders are often
granted in divorce cases for these reasons. A person who is a victim
of domestic violence or reasonably believes he or she is about to become a
victim can, in most states, file for a legal injunction. Such an injunction is
often an emergency one and offers immediate protection for the victim against
the abuser. Such injunctions are usually in the form of a temporary restraining
order, which orders the abuser to stay away from the victim and their children
and from entering the family’s home. In most areas, a temporary restraining
order is registered with the local police so that immediate action can be taken
if the abuser violates it. Violation of such an injunction often results in
criminal prosecution. Restraining orders are
temporary and, therefore, only effective for a certain period of time. After
that, a full court hearing will be held. The law believes that a
victim has every right to leave a physically abusive spouse, lover, or other
person. In addition, nearly all experts say abused victims should leave home and
find somewhere safe to stay. Victims who stay risk their health and their lives.
Many communities offer
shelters for battered spouses and children until a more permanent arrangement
can be made. Details on these shelters are available from the police, family
courts, local newspapers, attorney’s or women’s organizations. As soon as
possible, to protect yourself now and in the future, you should report physical
abuse to the police, get medical attention, take photographs of any visible
injuries, keep medical records, and write down what happened. Restraining Orders may
be obtained, but they alone cannot prevent abuse in every case. The police,
attorneys and the courts are there to assist you and protect you and your
rights, but you also need to protect yourself. Mediation services are
available for domestic violence cases. Domestic violence cases
require sensitive safety considerations. These cases are mediated only by
persons certified in domestic violence mediation and with years of experience
with domestic violence cases. A shuttle process of
mediation is used. Participants shall never be
in the same place at the same time. Mediation can assist in
getting agreements regarding: How the children will be
parented. How both parents will
access information regarding exposure of children to domestic violence. How to insure children
and parents get the help they need. How to insure safe
exchanges of the children. How to insure that the
mediator is communicating the needs of the children to both parents.
Mediation can assist in communication that otherwise requires court dates and
legal fees. Please request more
information regarding domestic violence mediations. We follow the Duluth and
Amends model for domestic violence cases.
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